


"Oh, Leo… If only there was someone who loved you.”

by aseies



Series: Mitchell Kadar [12]
Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Abandonment Issues, Aged-Up Character(s), Background Nico/Jason/Piper if you squint, M/M, Originally Posted on Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24313273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aseies/pseuds/aseies
Summary: College-aged Leo has a nightmare, and calls Nico to talk it over.
Relationships: Mitchell/Leo Valdez, Nico di Angelo & Leo Valdez
Series: Mitchell Kadar [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767325
Kudos: 15





	"Oh, Leo… If only there was someone who loved you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr in 2014.

_“Oh, Leo… If only there was someone who loved you.”_

_It was hot. Too hot. Was this what it was like to be burned? This intense feeling of overflowing pain, unable to be contained by his own skin. It was coming from inside of him – he stumbled after Mitchell’s retreating silhouette, grabbing onto the walls, only for them to catch fire too. Gasping, he clutched his chest, the only thing he could think to do to keep himself together._

_The floor opened, to form a less than pleasantly familiar dirtface. She smiled ruefully, and she laughed. The walls shook. Leo heard the ceiling collapse before he had time to look, and his body scattered into ash._

Leo jerked awake, his knee hitting the bottom of his work table. He strung together a string of very creative curses, rubbed his eyes, and sighed. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear music playing. He wasn’t sure why it sounded so familiar until the chorus repeated in time with the light flickering in the corner of his eye. 

The Blu-Ray menu screen was showing the same seven scenes from Frozen while it waited for Leo to decide if he wanted to see the bonus features or not. Leo resisted chucking the remote control at the screen (flat screens were a hassle to make and expensive to buy) and settled for simply turning the machine off.

He rubbed his face, trying to push the doubts out of his head. It was just a dumb movie making him dream dumb things. No reason for Leo to worry about any of that stuff, right? He wasn’t like Elsa. Wasn’t like Anna. Mitchell wasn’t anything like Hans. They’ve been together long enough for Leo to know this, and yet…

Leo glared at the TV – after all, this was all its stupid fault – and went to get something to eat. He exited his ‘room’ (aka supposed designated sleeping space, but really just a soundproof work room where Leo could crash on a bed without cleaning up first) and stumbled to their apartment kitchen. In the fridge, he had all the proof that Mitchell loved him – a pre-made smoothie made fresh this morning.

“See? Stop being stupid,” Leo said before drinking half in one go. He closed his eyes and concentrated hard on the flavor. Bananas? Definitely. Celery? No.. not this time. It had the bite of either apple or grapes… Wait, it was using pineapple juice. Which means grapes were the zing ingredient. Leo grinned and wrote 'Pineapples, Bananas, Grapes’ on the whiteboard next to the fridge in big letters around Mitchell’s schedule. He tossed the marker in the air and caught it twice before it konked him on the head. He frowned at the marker on the floor, and returned it to the mug it belonged in before moodily sitting at the bar counter and sipping at his smoothie.

Leo’s leg bounced impatiently. The clock said it was still several hours before Mitchell was supposed to get back from that New Rome university. It was too long. Leo wanted him back home _now_ so he could reaffirm what Leo already knew.

Crap, it even sounded stupid in his head. How did Mitchell even put up with him for this long?

“Stop that,” Leo said out loud, slapping his forehead. “We’ve been over this. The bad thoughts are lying through their teeth. You’re an awesome guy!”

Wow, it was hard to lie when you didn’t have an audience.

Leo started building a sculpture out of silverware, and eyed the can of drachmas by the sink. He did say that Leo could call him _whenever_ , but Leo always felt awkward taking him up on that. It still didn’t feel like they knew each other all that well. But he said to call if things were feeling overwhelming, and–

_Cold hands cupped Leo’s burning face. Mitchell’s eyes were sharp and ice-blue, wearing the same cold smile he wore when emotionally cutting his enemies to ribbons. Only this time, it was faced at Leo._

_“Oh, Leo. If only there was someone who loved you.”_

Knives and forks crashed to the floor. Leo pursed his lips and sighed, dipping his hand into the drachma jar. He made a rainbow with a flashlight and a prism. “Hey Fleecy, do me a solid. Get me Nico di Angelo, wherever the heck he is.”

He flipped the coin into the rainbow, and it disappeared, a mist forming where it had been a second before. Nico came stumbling into view, swinging his sword wildly above him while a griffin tried to swipe him with its claws. 

Leo winced as Nico made a painful-looking dive out of the monster’s grip. “Bad timing, I take it?”

“Leo?” Nico stared at his image dumbfoundedly, probably just trying to process what he was looking at it.

“In the flesh!” Leo grinned. “At least on my end.”

“I–” There was a loud screech, and Nico swore, shadow traveling a few feet away to avoid getting caught. He grimaced at Leo. “Give me ten minutes, I’ll call you back.”

“Take your time. Looks like you’ve got your hands full.”

Nico just laughed and swiped his hand through the connection.

* * *

Leo was already twenty minutes into a project when he heard footsteps and ragged breathing behind him. He pushed his goggles to his forehead and turned around to see Nico di Angelo sporting a nasty shoulder wound behind him.

“Sorry I’m late.”

“I thought you said you’d _call_ ,” Leo joked, slipping past him and grabbing some ambrosia out of the medicine cabinet. “I’m a _terrible_ bedside nurse.”

“No doubt there,” Nico said, breaking off a corner and shoving it in his mouth. He sighed as he swallowed. “So, what’s up?”

Ah, right to the point. Yeah. Leo had forgotten about that side of him. Great.

“Nothing much,” Leo said, rocking from his heels to the balls of his feet. “Just checking in; as you do.”

Nico snorted. “You’ve never once called on me without an ulterior motive – the first seven times you _bribed me with food_. What’s wrong, Valdez?”

Leo sighed, handing Nico a roll of paper towels, and sat back down at his work bench, gesturing for Nico to sit on the bed. “Have you ever seen _Frozen_?”

Nico frowned, pursing his lips as he wiped the blood off of his shoulder. “I feel like that sounds familiar. Maybe Piper was talking about it?”

“Probably. It was the new Disney movie that came out last November.”

“Oh, the one with the song?”

“Yeah, the song.”

“I didn’t see it,” Nico shrugged his uninjured shoulder. “Hazel did though, and loved it." Leo groaned, and Nico raised an eyebrow. "Why? Is it important?”

“Kind of,” Leo said, pulling his tinker project off of the table and into his lap. He glanced up at Nico. “Do you mind if I spoil some things for you?”

* * *

“I mean, the movie was okay,” Leo said, nearing the end of his vaguely coherent plot summary. “But I put it on last night for background noise, and it seeped into my brain while I was sleeping. I… I had a dream. And it’s been making me stupid all day.”

Nico’s restless legs were bouncing just as much as Leo’s, and at this sign of a break Nico stood and started pacing. It didn’t stop him from paying attention, though. “What kind of dream?”

“I was Elsa. I mean, I was _me_ , but I was acting out Elsa’s role. Only with fire. And I was kind of Anna too 'cause it felt like the fire was eating me from the inside out. And…” Leo clutched his stomach, spinning a key ring around his finger on the table next to him. “And Mitchell was there, but he was Hans. He told me he didn’t love me – like, he was pretending the whole time – and then left me to die. Gaea showed up at the last minute to deal the final blow, but I figure since everything else was from the movie she’s not actually coming back or anything.”

Nico was quiet. Too quiet. Was he juding him? Did he think Leo was stupid? Did he think that Leo was just wasting his time?

“I-I know we talk about this kind of stuff a lot,” Leo said quickly to the floor. “I know that Mitchell actually does like me and I’m not gonna burn alive with my powers. I _KNOW_ this, and yet my head keeps saying that I don’t deserve him and some day he’s just going to leave me 'cause he can’t stand me and I–”

“Leo.” Nico put a hand on Leo’s shoulder and jolted Leo out of his thoughts. “Have you kept up with Jason?”

“Uh. Sort of?” Leo grimaced. He felt bad not calling someone who used to be his best friend but… talking to people was hard. Especially when Jason was all the way in Camp Half-Blood. He felt like he’d be bothering him.

“Let’s say you’re right. Mitchell decides he hates you and kicks you out. What would you do?”

“Uh, I dunno.” Leo ran his hands through his hair, and avoided Nico’s intense eyes. “Panic, I guess? Or maybe try and find Hazel. Or Piper, if she’s in the area.”

Nico nodded. “That’s good. I think Jason would take you in too, no matter how long it’s been since you last called.”

“Well, he’s kind of on the other side of the country.”

Nico flicked the side of Leo’s head. “That’s what _I’m_ for, dummy." 

Leo chuckled. "I didn’t realize you were a personal valet service.”

Nico stuck out his tongue and said, “Emergencies and giant statues only.”

“So, what are you getting at, exactly?” Leo asked, drumming his fingers against his knee. “Are you saying it’s gonna happen?”

“Of course not,” he said, waving it off. “But I know those thoughts. I know how bad they get. And Mitchell likes to preach that 'think a better feeling thought’ crap – and maybe that works for him – but it’s never really worked for me. Not for more than a few minutes. I find I get a lot better after _indulging_ the negative thoughts. ’ _What if Jason and Piper decide they’re better off without me?_ ’ 'I’d go to Hazel or Mitchell and wait out the dangerous period. Maybe train in the underworld to let off steam. When I’m ready, I’d come back out. Maybe travel and meet some strangers.’ – You see? I had a plan. I thought it through, and I created my safety net. I never had to use it, but I had it there _just in case_. I won’t pretend to know what’s best for you, but I can’t tell you how relieving it was to prepare for the worst. It made me feel like I knew what I was doing, and that’s worth more than my weight in Imperial Gold.”

Leo was quiet, letting the idea just sink into his brain for a few seconds. He swallowed. “I, uh, I’m not that good at plans, Nico.”

Nico crossed his arms skeptically. “Are you trying to say you built a _flying warship_ without a plan?”

“Machines are different!” Leo said, flailing his arms. “Life is way messier, and makes no sense!”

Nico shook his head. “Don’t sell yourself short, Valdez. I think you’re just scared. You haven’t even tried to think of a plan yet. It doesn’t have to be now – just, whenever those bad thoughts come back, think about ways to solve the problems. Just like you would if a machine lid rusted shut. They don’t have to be _good_ plans, either. Just brainstorm until you feel better.”

Leo sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Okay… Okay. I’ll try.”

“Good.” Nico smiled at him. It was one of those smiles that Leo had used to find creepy, but actually seemed kind of warm after a few years getting used to it. “I believe you can do it, you know. I’ve been where you are. – Heck, sometimes I still am. – And I _know_ that you can get out of it. You’re strong enough to do it. And I know what I’m talking about when I say that.”

The corner of Leo’s mouth turned up in a smirk and he meant it when he said, “Thanks.”

“It’s payback for the ambrosia,” Nico said, patting his shoulder.

Leo laughed. “Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

From down the hall came the sound of the front door opening. “Leo, I’m back!” A pause, and Mitchell said, “You’re wrong – it was oranges, not grapes.”

“Oh, fine. You win this round!” Leo called out. “You’ll never guess what I have in store for you tomorrow, though!”

“Probably not,” Mitchell said, peeking in as he shrugged off his backpack. “Oh, Nico. I didn’t realize you were here. Everything alright?”

“We were just talking about Disney movies,” Leo said quickly, shooting a grin in Nico’s direction.

“Yeah, something like that.” Nico nodded.

“I think we need a group showing of _Lilo and Stitch_ ,” Leo said.

“Oh, it’s been _forever_ since I’ve seen that movie,” Mitchell said eagerly. “What do you say, Nico?”

“Yeah, Nico, what do you say?” Leo grinned and waggled his eyebrows. “I’ve already ruined one Disney movie about sisters, I might as well make sure you see the far superior one.”

Nico smirked. “I’ll watch it if you stop making that face at me.”

“I make no promises.”


End file.
